Aug
27
2010

Please Don't Play Me

I'm Not A Conspiracy Theorist, But...

(Add / View Comments) (12)Friday, August 27, 2010 - 05:38:30 PM
(Posted Under: The No Chocolate Cake File)
It's incredible how similar to Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers this whole Gin Blossoms turning to shit thing is. To that end, I've just had a moment that felt just like when I heard Mexicosis for the first time.

Someone clued me into the Gin Blossoms releasing an exclusive bonus track for No Chocolate Cake for pre orders on iTunes. An unprecedented move by this band, to the point that it's almost impressive. Of course, it was presented to me as an "all time low". Something that is hard to believe, that this band has any all time lows left in them. But indeed it is that - and more.

Giving the track a listen was exactly like listening to Mexicosis for the first time. The first (musically anyway) sign that Roger Clyne had absolutely lost the plot. But kinda with a bit more of a punch to the guts. Both instances should have been about the same, but despite the writing being on the wall with the Gin Blossoms, hearing Robin Wilson singing this was definitely harder to take than any part of watching the Roger DeClyne into the garbage can was.

My immediate thought was "are you serious?". The song, titled Please Don't Ask Me (obviously written by Johnson, and given the Gin Blossoms gayness treatment, to a incredibly larger extent than any of his songs have suffered in the past) may just be the worst thing I've ever heard to come out the Gin Blossoms camp, surpassing anything else on the record in this sense. And that's an impressive feat, given the likes of Don't Change For Me, I'm Ready and If You'll Be Mine. Again, are you fucking serious? But maybe that's it. Maybe they're not. It's been well established that this album is a complete joke. But y'know, what I hadn't considered until hearing this "song", is that maybe that's exactly what the album is supposed to be. An inside joke.

Let's face it, no one in this band, aside from Robin, is beyond this. And we know how bothered somebody was by Major Valenzuela Victory. What would be the ultimate "fuck you" to all of the freak shows out there? Release the worst album that you can possibly put out, and sit back and laugh at them as they all buy it, fall over themselves to praise all the specially crafted bogus songs, all oblivious to the inside joke. When you don't actually like your fans anyway, it's brilliant. And hell, if it sells just as much as a real album would sell anyway, where is the downside of it? Especially when you've frittered away all of your credibility and flushed your career down the toilet anyway.

Sure, it's a conspiracy theory, but is it really that far fetched? Truth is often stranger than fiction. An album title that really should offend the majority of your fan base, an album cover that is as offensive as it is horrible to comic proportions, a bunch of songs that the majority of which sound like they've specifically been written to be laughable, co-writing with all the players that made people turn on you in the first place (with some other worse examples thrown in this time for good measure) and particularly candy ass production. All the pieces are in place. The only missing part of the puzzle is how you get Robin Wilson on board with such an elaborate plan to fuck with things. I don't know, maybe only the perpetrator is privy to the inside joke and everyone else is merely a pawn in the game to fuck with things.

Now, maybe I'm wrong on this, and I'm fine with that. I've never been one to live by conspiracy theories, and I'm not married to this one any more than the idea that Elvis might serve me at Circle K. But there is no question either way that this album is a complete joke. And either way, the No Chocolate Cake File still stands and is heading to the same conclusion. Though I will admit, if it all is an inside joke - a last attempt to fuck with things before dissolving for good, it's has a smidge of cred. Not enough to justify marring the Gin Blossoms legacy, nor change the outcome of where I'm heading, nor my disgust. But compared to the alternative (that it isn't an inside joke), it does at least have some element of old school Gin Blossoms sneer, even if the execution of it really has absolutely none.

It might sound ridiculous - but it's not like there is much about this album that doesn't sound ridiculous.

Anyways, my disillusionment is spiraling further downwards faster than the Titanic. At this rate it's going to be hard not to close the No Chocolate Cake earlier than even I expected. God, this song is absolutely comically bad. I'd love to see the co-write credits on this song, though I think I have a fair idea where they might lay.

For most bands, this "hidden track" would be hidden in the closest, not at the end of a record where someone might actually hear it. It really should be ripped apart like a stray bird in a lions cage. But watch the kool-aid drinkers lap it up. I mean, after all these years the band has finally thrown them a bone, they get a bonus track!!! Weeeeeeee!

Have fun kiddies!

Shouts out to my peeps who I stole this blog title from. Sorry, it was just too good not to use it. [smile]
Now Playing: Green Day - Know Your Enemy
Aug
27
2010

A Reefer & A 40

(Add / View Comments) (0)Friday, August 27, 2010 - 03:48:34 PM
(Posted Under: Music Music)
It's been a while since I've listened to Girls All The Bad Guys Want. It's clear I've been living in America for a while now, because the "a reefer and a 40 line" is no longer completely lost on me anymore. The reefer part never was, but I never understood the "40" thing though. [smile]

Anyways, another awesome day - even better than yesterday. To the point that it was okay to turn off the AC and open the windows. This is awesome Arizona weather!

Tonight it's Tramps & Thieves at Teakwoods, with plans to take advantage of the 1/2 off appetizers. Right now I'm a little more excited about that than Tramps. Oh the hunger. And hey, for once we won't be the annoying couple that "just want to see the band" on Friday night. ha!
Now Playing: Bowling For Soup - Girl All The Bad Guys Want

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