The Lost Horizons

(Add / View Comments) (0)Tuesday, August 8, 2006 - 12:54:40 am
(Posted Under: Thoughts)
So, despite having been working for weeks, it was my first day back in the office. Cold mornings at 7am aren't good for a recovering shoulder. After the usual almost 2 hour public transport ordeal, the recovery process seemed to be going in reverse, rather than forward. The cold whether isn't good. Neither is the half an hour or walking. Or buses. I expected as much, and it was confirmed. An upside is that I started reading Hunter's Kingdom Of Fear that Cath got me for my birthday. While the are many a thing to complain about the ridiculous trip to work, reading is one of the few that doesn't fit into that catagory.

Another would be the trip planning phone calls to the KJ. It was impressive that immediately stepping off the bus at Greensborough, I was flooded with memories of talking to her, waiting for the next bus, particularly about Mexico, only a few months ago. Good times. It also hit me strongly how good plans are. A good plan, it can make all the difference.

I promptly forgot my packet of cigarettes, so had to stop on the way to work. On opening my "Marlboro Lights", the orange butts stood out like grandma's teeth. I immediately flipped around the pack, to see what I'd mistakenly been sold, instead of my beloved Marlboro Lights. The spiel on the tasty contents, particularly the tar content, will be tell tail sign. Ahh, it's been moved. No, not there. Or there. What the fuck? Rather than telling the content of these bad boys, the Australian government obviously believes that scare tactics are much more important than telling you the actual content of these puppies. Honestly, the side which lists out the tar (the informative one), nicotine and carbon monoxide levels is replaced with this deadly black label of bullshit. Or what I am now to refer to as the "deathly black label of bullshit" (someone call Penn and Teller!). Smoking exposes you to more than 40 harmful chemicals. QUIT NOW to reduce your risk of chronic illness or premature death. Blah fucking blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I've currently fallen off the back of the wagon - but I'm not adverse to quiting anymore. But I'm not quitting my distaste and distain at bullshit. The only helpful information that was ever on the pack (seriously, do you think I was smoking because it's good for me?!?) is not present anywhere on the pack. Not the other side. Not the bottom of the pack. Not the back of the pack, which also now is harsh black, with words that will scare tiny children. Sorry - the deathly black label of bullshit. Nowhere on the pack does it say the tar levels - hence, who knows if they're really Marlboro Lights, with no 6mg listing. Fucking ridiculous! Smoking cause peripheral vascular disease. I didn't do P.E past year 10, so I don't know what that means. Thank god, because that makes it okay. Again, don't get me wrong, quitting is a good thing. But this whole government regulation is lunacy out of control. Don't expect me to ignore it. Cash in your sticks for heroine. Much more socially acceptible. We'll provide the room and needles... But enough of that. As Hunter would say, they're closing in. They have been for years. In this day and age, it no longer rates that high in revelations. So, enough of that.

Not being at the place for 3 months is odd, because it certainly didn't feel that long, once being back.

The trip home was more paced. Commanding attention. I'm always happy to comply, without resistance. Waiting at stop 2 had an errie feeling about it; an errie feeling - being there once again, in the same place, with the same feeling, but post the lost horizons. Errie, still being there today. Not shocking, not wholly unexpected, but also not taken for granted. With that same previous lust for not taking it for granted. A previous lust that is all so recent, that still tastes strong. The previous lust still on the tongue, combined with the on going lust, makes for a vunerable but edgy air. Is still being (t)here today good, or bad? I questioned this. It's neither neccesarily, it's just provoking. Maybe siding on good, but possessing elements of both. Either way, most importantly provoking. Which is either good or bad in itself, depending on who you are. For me, it's good. To be provoked, you know you are still alive. And provocation, even with it's bittersweet tinges, can often be enough to get you by. Certainly in conjunction with the lust for the lost horizons, lust that still lingers from the last time I stood here. So pick your poison, because the provocation tips the scales. All the rest are just details. Good comes out the favorite. As it does so often.

Similarly, the blockbuster sight didn't look as it did last year. Again, this provokes the good or bad question. You have to look beyond the surface. It doesn't look different - it never will. This is just another time, another place. Well, another time, at least. Don't be fooled, look beyond the surface. It's just different. To look the same today, would just be a cheap thrill, a trick turned by a whore. Always a tempting pleasure. A temptress I could never resist in my younger days. A temptress that still catches my glace, if but for a second. I am sure she always will, and I take solice in this. But the lost horizons have taught me well - look beyond the surface. It's different, and that is the prize. For it to look the same, would to be in the same time that you were last year. You're not, you've moved forward. That is the prize of looking past the the seductive grin. Look past it, because you know it's always going to look the same. Resist the thrill provoked by fear. Resist the seductive whore, sent straight from the devil himself, and walk on by. Don't fall for his trick. Walk on by, while admiring the fact of the truth, and the ability to see it. Because you know the appearance is not going to change as you do. It's made of rock a stone, which won't succumb to the elements. Don't fear walking past. Don't be fooled by what the change in clouds do to the surface. The rocks will not succomb. Walk on by - that'll get you a closer look. You've learnt that lesson. Walk on by, and look at a closer distance tomorrow, afterall, the rock and stone hasn't changed at all. Don't stand around waiting for the clouds to take their position of the last solstice, only to keep looking from a far.

Further on, taking a momentary pause from Hunter, I caught a glimpse of the stables, evoking another sense, that is becoming more familar. The sense of the intensely common becoming foreign. There is solice in the common becoming foriegn. As Brent says, the world is much wider than I was lead to believe. It is, and while this is a lesson I learnt a long time ago, I seem to be retaught over and over. I'm an eager student, apparently. Once you see this, the most common of places can become almost as foriegn as the dusty deserts of Mexico. And then, it's easier to breathe. The suffocation of the common is subsided with the beautify of the foriegn. Everywhere is as foriegn as everwhere else, once you're out of your cage. It's not a banquet where every heart revealed itself, but only fools fail to appreciate the worth of breathing. Of course, there is a catch to this wonderful truth; the catch that you don't step back into the cage. The moment you did, common would strangle you for dear life. The moment you even considered the cage, the lungs would tighten. But I don't have this problem. As a result, while it's going to take a bit more money, you can tell Glen this place doesn't make me fall from you. The ice does not gather.
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